Obama’s New Monopoly Set
President Obama has invented a new board game for Wall Street money guys to play that promises to be a lot of fun. It’s very much like the regular Monopoly game that kids play–only better–because this one uses real money, provided courtesy of the taxpayers. The best thing about Obama’s game is nobody loses. Usually, the winner in Monopoly is the one who winds up with the most money. In the Obama version, the losers get any losses back from the government at the end of the game. The president has promised.
The guy is a genius. He located these two whiz kids–Tim and Larry–who are smarter than God about financial matters. President Obama commanded the advisors to solve the financial mess, raise the zombie banks from the dead and start the good times rolling again. This game is what they came up with. It’s a very complicated game and not everyone can understand it. But the Wall Street titans smell hope. For this Monopoly set has no “Go to Jail” card in the deck.
It starts just like the real Monopoly game. The president hands out tall stacks of cash to all the players–hedge funds, insurance companies, big-time investors, any well-heeled capitalist with a serious taste for acquiring greater wealth. The players then roll the dice and move their little titan icons around the Monopoly board. They can buy up properties wherever they land, sort of like landing on Boardwalk and Park Place. Only in this case the properties are the nearly worthless financial assets held by the country’s leading banks, like the mortgage-backed securities now known as “toxic assets.”
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